i watched many slave boys being raped


WARNING: Explicit Imagery and Colloquial Language

The Boys : Show Me Your Life

where are our... where are our outraged religious leaders and our esteemed colleagues, where are our mothers and fathers and uncles and aunts, where are our mentors and guides speaking out together as strangers, throughout the depth and breadth of our communities with a shared desire to dispel that most despicable of appellations “male-child sexual abuse and rape.”


"Sexual violence against men and boys"(fmreview.org)

The problem of male-directed sexual violence remains largely undocumented. We do not know about the relationship between conflict-related violence and sexual violence within institutions such as militaries, police forces and penal systems.  The reluctance of many men and boys to report sexual violence makes it very difficult to accurately assess its scope.  In the last decade, sexualized violence against men and boys – including rape, sexual torture, mutilation of the genitals, sexual humiliation, sexual enslavement, forced incest and forced rape – has been reported in 25 armed conflicts across the world.  If one expands this tally to include cases of sexual exploitation of boys displaced by violent conflict, the list encompasses the majority of the 59 armed conflicts identified in the Human Security Report (humansecurityreport.info). Sexualised violence against adult men and boys can emerge in any form of conflict – from interstate wars to civil wars to localized conflicts – and in any cultural context.  Both men and boys are vulnerable in conflict settings and in countries of asylum alike.  Both adult men and boys are most vulnerable to sexual violence in detention and during military operations in civilian areas and in situations of military conscription or abduction into paramilitary forces.  Boys, are also highly vulnerable in refugee/IDP settings.  The issue of disclosure is further challenged in localities where homosexual activity attracts legal penalties.  Sexual violence is however a mechanism by which men and boys are placed or kept in a position subordinate to other men and has no relationship to generally accepted notions of homosexuality as consensual relations between adult male partners.  Sexual violence is an exercise in power and humiliation.


Dear Tim Barrus, you do not write enough. When you write, I listen. Sometimes I grow very dark inside in order to listen. But I listen. When you said show me your life you had my complete attention. I have never believed that white people wanted to know anything about my life. You white people were the teachers, the lawyers, the doctors, and the law. All my life. We were there to shine your shoes, and kiss your white ass. My work will never be anywhere near the center. It will only happen at the edges. The edges where slavery is no abstraction, and abstraction is exactly that. When I heard that you were doing Show Me Your Life I thought you do not mean me. What do you mean, you do not need me? You just don’t understand how badly you need me. You need me terribly. I’m the only person you know who is cognizant of where all the players are at any given point in time. I will send this and wonder. I would challenge you to come out from behind the camera. Exchanging places. Is it about how I made this as a black man who has no access. Or is this about what story is being told and has been constructed as metaphor and images. White people won’t like it. Black people will not like it anymore than white people. Or maybe it is not about race at all. I suspect it is far more about voice than anything. I feel like my voice is always dancing in the darkness and the best I will ever do is called just barely hanging on. You are not going to want to hear this, and please do not send me the contest rules, but could I be a part of Show Me Your Life? Lusala

Dear Lusala, I do not care where these images came from anymore than I care where you came from. PLACE doesn’t hold any mystery for me. I am no romantic. People think I might be. But then they find out otherwise. I do not care where you got the images. They are only images and as such, they have the power to make us think. I do not care what your name is. I care about the story you are attempting to tell. I care about how it means all of us. Every single last person on the planet. I care about who can access that. — Tim Barrus


Southern Sudan...

The Southern Sudan Aids Commission (SSAC) is increasing delivery of services to those affected by HIV and AIDS.  The Commission has recently appointed a new Chairperson, Dr Esterina Novello Nyilok, who hopes that more people will take advantage of free HIV testing and treatment programs. The SSAC was formed in 2006 with the mandate to ensure that “HIV and AIDS transmission is minimised and its impact on families and individuals is reduced,” says the Chairperson. “Our role in the Commission is to recommend strategies to control the spread of the disease.” The SSAC is tasked with mobilising communities to respond to HIV and managing HIV and AIDS prevention and treatment within Southern Sudan.

Dr Nyilok says “only three thousand people are currently accessing treatment. After twenty-one years of war, most of our infrastructure has been destroyed and accessibility to health infrastructure is very low.” Anti-Retro Viral medication is available to treat HIV-positive people free of charge. “Human rights for people living with HIV is fundamental. If they are threatened or discriminated against, it will further the spread of HIV.  These people should be protected.”

Freedom Now World News discovered overwhelming evidence that southern Sudanese young black, boy slaves are repeatedly gang-raped by their Arab masters. Sociologist and investigative reporter Maria Sliwa received testimony from numerous boy victims of rape.

"This type of sex is very strange to us," said redeemed slave Deng Deng. "Many times during rape boys would cry so loudly that the Arabs would stuff rags in their mouths so they could not be heard. I witnessed this often. If you refuse [sex], sometimes they would shoot you." Deng Deng is a Christian who said that as a slave he was often beaten because he would not convert to Islam.

Another recently freed boy slave, Deng Ayuel testified: "I watched the Arabs rape my two sisters and I watched many slave boys being raped as well. They would often take a girl or boy and do whatever they wanted with them sexually. I too was raped many times by my master and his Arab friends."

Perhaps the most graphic account of male rape was given by the freed slave Aleek Mach Deng: "I watched my master Mohammed and four Murahaleen Arabs violently gang-rape a young Dinka slave boy. The boy was screaming and crying a lot. He was bleeding heavily, as he was raped repeatedly. I watched his stomach expand with air with each violent penetration. The boy kept screaming. I was very frightened, and knew I was likely next. Suddenly the boy's screams stopped as he went completely unconscious. My master took him to the hospital. I never saw him again."

Many of the redeemed slaves told Sliwa that in order to avoid rape, male slaves would try to escape but were hunted down like animals by their masters. The punishment for resisting rape is often severe beatings, death or limb amputation.

Sliwa noted that the knowledge of male slave rape is widespread and has come to the attention of community leaders in Southern Sudan. "Many of the freed male slaves come to the chiefs and tell us they were repeatedly raped by their Arab captors," said Nhial Chan Nhial, Paramount Chief of Akon. "This affects their minds badly. They are subject to fits of crying, mental problems and are often unable to marry later on in life."

The media outlets have a responsibility to get the news of these crimes out to the rest of the world.  Although there are human-rights groups and different church organizations working to help the people of southern Sudan, Sliwa said, "I think we can all do more."


In 2011, the 7th billion person will be born in the world...

No other Christian ‘denomination’ comes close to comparing to Baptized Catholics (with the addition of Eastern Orthodox followers); although how many people actively practice is a different matter.

Although the Vatican estimates that Muslims surpassed Catholics in 2006, and Sunni Muslims and Vishnuism Hindus have huge followings.  No other religious organization compares with the organization, unity, reach, and influence of the Catholic Church.


Boys(under 18) are sexually abused and raped and infected with HIV by Catholic Priests

Male-child sexual violence is a mechanism by which boys are placed or kept in a position subordinate to men and has no relationship to generally accepted notions of homosexuality or men who have sex with men; consensual relations between adult male partners. Sexual violence is an exercise in power and humiliation. Boys are reluctant to report sexual violence and are at high risk daily of being infected with HIV.  Sexual violence and the transmission of HIV is a crime against humanity.

Many people create and constitute the Catholic Church

The Vatican’s Statistical Year Book for 2009 estimates:

1.18 billion Catholics

5,065 bishops
410,593 priests (diocesan priests, regular (or religious) priests)

54,641 non-ordained male religious (2008 figures)
740,000 female religious (2008 figures)

117,024 students at seminaries (both religious and diocese) (2008 figures)

Silence born of embarrassment and fear is a terrible role model for children to witness 

Would your son, or nephew, or brother, or cousin, or friend, or neighbour feel safe to disclose and find the support he needs, if he was sexually abused and infected with HIV ?

The John Jay College research on the crisis in America revealed that 81 percent of the victims of clerical sexual abuse were BOYS:

27 % were 15 – 17 years old

51 % were 11 – 14 years old

16 % were  8 – 10 years old

6 % were under 7 years of age


Tim Barrus (Director, Show Me Your Life & Sework; Founder, Cinemateque Films)

From above, we see what appears to be perhaps a family walking along an Irish beach beneath the sea cliffs that tower over them.

One of those people would be Liam. The lions lived alone.

A witness.

To torture. To anarchy. To the violence of a church. To a plunge he takes to disappear. Into the darkness running like a train.

We see someone, perhaps it is nothing more than a shadow, in the background following Liam.

If you do not see it, you do not see it. You need external evidence. I have none to give you. And I do not care. About you. You are the audience. You mean nothing to me.

Are you real. What is the evidence for it.

Why is it I should care. It’s Liam I am compelled to hold.

Call it what you want.

Liam calls it the lions live alone. But there are no lions. You say.

Liam and his lions. To lay down among your many deaths. We see boys throwing Molotov cocktails from rooftops. The smell of gasoline and sweat And fear.

You do not see the lions so it cannot be true.

That is why you are the dead. Your churches are the dead. Your armies are the dead.  Your cultures are the dead.

Liam is not alone. Oh, Liam, I am with you. Every step. Every disappearance. Every plunge. Every glance toward every horizon. Every escape from every candle.

The lions live with other lions. I have seen them. I see them now. Lions everywhere.

Liam says: The Lions Lived Alone.  I believe him.

Show me your life.


And all the towns we built,

we built them so the lions could escape,

so they could roam in houses of their own.


The council wasn’t there, just answer phone

The humans disappeared, they left their homes.

So the lions lived alone.


And all the towns we built,

we built them so the lions could escape,

so they could roam in houses of their own.


The council wasn’t there, just answer phone

The humans disappeared, they left their homes.

So the lions lived alone.


So the lions lived alone.


Male Sexual Abuse and Rape

Rape and sexual assault can happen to anyone, including males. Many thousands of men and boys are sexually assaulted and raped every year, and it has nothing to do with their race, class, age, religion, sexual orientation, size, appearance, or strength.  A male can be sexually assaulted by a stranger, a family member, friend, baby-sitter, or someone he knows and trusts such as a teacher, priest, etc.

Experts expect that more than 1 in 5 men are sexually violated during their lifetime. Even though male sexual assault remains vastly under reported, the United States Department of Justice, for example, documents over 13,500 cases of male rape every year, and many more cases of childhood sexual abuse. This is thought to be only the tip of the iceberg; the true number been at least 5 to 6 times higher.

The culturally and socially determined concept of "masculine identity" (something promoted in the Catholic Church as meaning "heterosexuality") makes  the sexual abuse difficult for boys (and their families and friends), to speak about in both physical and psychological terms.

The sexual abuse of males brings with it some different and extra issues for the male victim of abuse. Many of these come from what society has taught males that they should be like, even though many of these assumptions are quite wrong. For instance, males should be strong and able to safeguard themselves. Of course, some males are physically strong, but physical strength is NO guarantee that a male can protect himself. So the male victim of abuse has such ideas to deal with on top of the abuse, and these ideas will make it harder for him to deal with the abuse.

Males also tend to mistrust their sexuality because of the abuse more than females do. To some extent this is because males usually get an erection easily.  This provides the abuser with a useful weapon...  "You must have liked it because … you got an erection… or, you ejaculated… or both".  This is quite wrong, of course, but does lead to a lot of confusion.

Getting an erection is NOT under the person's control; it is a REFLEX reaction to stimulation, as is ejaculation.

Neither of which means that you found the experience pleasurable and neither of which mean that you must be gay or bisexual, and neither of which were your fault if you are gay or bisexual. Whilst it is true that it is possible to think of thoughts that will cause an erection, it is not possible to think of thoughts that will stop you getting an erection when being stimulated.  In addition, muscles in the anus often relax when a man is raped.  This is also true of any animal on the planet that is very afraid, and NOT a sign that you wanted, nor enjoyed, the experience.


What is the incidence of HIV amongst Roman Catholic Priests?

Data on the subject is very sparse and can be reduced to a survey conducted in 2000 that found that US Roman Catholic priests were dying of AIDS at a rate four times higher than the general population.


"Secular Blessing of a Cover-Up" by Patrick J. Wall (April 12, 2011)  http://patrickjwall.wordpress.com/

(**Patrick J. Wall, a canon lawyer and world-renowned expert on the Catholic Clergy Abuse Crisis, has been a senior consultant at Manly & Stewart since 2002. A former Roman Catholic Priest and Benedictine Monk, Patrick has a bachelor's degree in philosophy and a master's of divinity degree from Saint John's University in Minnesota. In 2007, he received an LL.M in Canon Law from the Cardiff University School of Law in Wales).

In 2002, the US Conference of Catholic Bishops rolled out a plan:  they were going to reach out to survivors, remove abusive priests, allow independent lay people to review abuse, and miraculously transform the church into a safe haven for children and vulnerable people.  They were going to do it all through self-reporting, self-auditing and transparency.

Little did we know how calculated the sham really was.

In short, the Bishops have used and continue to use their lay people as political and public pawns to protect the clerical power structure.  How do they do this?  The cunning Bishops have given lay people auspicious titles and duties, but denied them access to priest personnel files and removed any authority they could have to protect children.  Bishops made these lay people ultimately accountable, but gave them no power. The Bishops’ grand plan has played out in four distinct modes of tactical deception: National Review Board, John Jay College of Criminal Justice, The Gavin Group, and diminishing enforcement.

The National Review Board

After the Dallas 2002 USCCB meeting, even some critics believed a real metanoia had occurred.  People hoped that the Bishops had experienced true shame and actually wanted reform and change.  That repentance and change of heart was to be embodied in the National Review Board and former Oklahoma Governor Frank Keating. Keating, who is also a former FBI agent and federal prosecutor, soon realized that he was being played the fool.  He publicly blasted the Bishops acting more like La Cosa Nostra than a moral religious authority:  “To resist grand jury subpoenas, to suppress the names of offending clerics, to deny, to obfuscate, to explain away; that is the model of a criminal organization, not my church.” Since Keating’s public resignation from the board, the National Review Board membership has done little, if anything, to force the Bishops to adhere to the law, their own reforms or common moral decency.

The John Jay Study

In another crafty tactic by the Bishops, they hired the John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York to conduct a “study.”  Competent and world renown as the college is, John Jay was utterly dependent upon the information each Bishop decided to give them. You can review the 2004 study here. The study was nothing more than a third-party rehash of only the information that the USCCB wanted to be publicly disseminated.  Confused?  Think of it this way:  imagine a police detective is investigating a murder.  Then, imagine that the only evidence the detective can examine is the evidence that the murderer himself freely turns over. Now you understand how the Bishops work.

The Gavin Group

One of the bishops’ most cunning moves of all?  Hiring the Gavin Group to conduct annual “audits” of child sex abuse prevention policies in individual dioceses. For those of us in the real world, an audit is when an independent third party is allowed to freely comb through records, accounts, data and witnesses.  Think IRS.  Audits by definition are intrusive and force an individual or corporation to be transparent and accountable.  In fact, an annual audit of the US Catholic Church makes sense: in 1971, church assets in the US were valued at $34 billion dollars.  Through its education and other programs, the Catholic Church impacts the lives of every citizen.  (See James Gollin, “Worldly Goods"). However, the Gavin Group’s annual “audits” are conducted in a manner stunningly similar to the John Jay Study.  William A. Gavin admitted as much just a few weeks ago: “We didn’t have the benefit of drilling down into personnel files to see what might be there,” Gavin says. “They were off limits.” The Bishops ONLY give the Gavin Group what the Bishops want the public to know.  And that’s what the USCCB calls transparency. In the meantime, we learned that the Philadelphia Grand Jury found 37 alleged perpetrators in ministry – the same Archdiocese of Philadelphia that PASSED the Gavin Group audit every year.

Diminishing Enforcement

In 2011, nine years after the Dallas meeting and 26 years after the Collegeville meeting, the fourth prong of the deception policy is now in full gear: diminishing enforcement. Instead of increasing participation and compliance with the Bishops’ own policies, we hear that 55 Catholic Dioceses and Eparchies received “Management letters” from the Gavin Group.   The bishops are getting bored and complacent and can’t even keep up their own charade of compliance. Not only that, but according to Mary Jane Doerr, associate director of the secretariat of child and youth protection of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, THEY WON’T TELL US WHICH 55 DIOCESES ARE NOT IN COMPLIANCE.  Some of the problems include (taken from the Minneapolis Star-Tribune):

—Allowing clergy who had been barred from ministry to lead public prayers
—Downsizing local child safety offices, partly due to the recession, leaving key tasks undone
—Failing to meet with leaders of all religious orders that have priests working in a diocese
—Not checking whether safeguards were in place on the parish level, despite a directive since 2006 to do so
—Failing to collect written notice from parents who decide to keep their children from abuse prevention training

What does it mean when the Bishops can’t even play along with their own cover-up?  It means that men like William Donohue of the Catholic League have to publish full-page ads in the New York Times to try and point fingers at everybody else. Until recently, the deception has been quite successful.  One only needs to look at the careers of Cardinals Bevilaqua, Law, Mahony, Levada, George, and McCarrick to see how abusers and enablers can continue to remain above the law.   These Bishops were the men who had the final say about molesting priests.  Through artful deception, they manipulated lay people and secular organizations to do their dirty work and secularly bless the cover-up. The tide is changing, however, and three Philadelphia grand juries are leading the way.  Laity groups across the country and the globe are beginning to see through the façade.  And as they were used, the laity will now use law enforcement to finally demand accountability.  Time and statutes of limitations are not always on the Bishops side.

“Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests”  http://www.snapnetwork.org/

Quoted on NPR by William Gavin, March 29th…  http://www.npr.org/2011/03/29/134953417/how-priests-accused-of-abuse-can-go-undetected

The Nature and Scope of the Problem of Sexual Abuse of Minors by Priests and Deacons, by Karen Terry et al., prepared by the John Jay College of Criminal Justice for the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (Washington DC: USCCB, 2004) http://www.bishop-accountability.org/reports/2004_02_27_JohnJay/index.html

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